Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Guest Blogger: Author Susan Meier from Team 6

Yes, You’re Right. My shoes Do Match My Purse.

A few weeks ago, my daughter and I were dressing to go to the hospital to see her friend, Erica and her new baby – Rocco. (Now that’s a romance novel hero name! And he’s gorgeous enough to fit the bill.)

Anyway, dressed in my favorite sage-colored capris, with white cami and white over-blouse, I headed to the shoe rack. I nearly grabbed my hip-and-trendy brown wedge sandals, but I looked at my pretty beige slides with lust in my heart. I love those shoes. They’re comfy and cute. But a tad out of style. And, horror of horrors, they matched my purse. (A real no-no I’m told in today’s fashion world.)

I spent the week before RWA Nationals agonizingly caught in the great debate. Sandals and no panty hose. Or pumps and hose. Because, lord knows, you can’t have panty-hose toes. I ended up taking pumps and hose. My legs looked great, but my feet hurt. I like my sandals better! Why couldn’t I just wear them and hose too!

So when I stood at the closet, wanting to wear my pretty slides, remembering the great panty hose debacle, I felt my own personal Declaration of Independence coming on.

Why can’t I wear what I want to wear?

Answer: I can.

I am in my fifties. I will never be compared to J Lo. (Thank God.) Beyonce has nothing to fear from me.

So why am I torturing myself?

Because I do like to look pretty. It’s a curse. LOL

Still, I think the whole wanting-to-look-hip-and-pretty thing is part of our weight problem. We see an image…THE image…the look we’re to aspire to, and frankly sometimes we know we just can’t do it. Remember Twiggie? As an overweight teenager, looking at her didn’t inspire me. Looking at her made me run to the refrigerator for another baloney sandwich because I knew it was hopeless and I wanted comfort.

Do we do that to ourselves now? Do we look at Kelli Rippa or Jennifer Aniston or even Jane Fonda or Diane Keaton and subconsciously say, I can’t do that…and then comfort ourselves with Ho-Hos?

I don’t know. But I do know I wore the beige slides that day. I said to myself, this is who I am. This is what I like and maybe for the next segment of my life I’m going to try to be the best ME I can be.

Maybe that’s the answer to permanent weight loss? No more aspiring to a vision that’s unattainable, but the simple statement that I’m going to be the best me I can be.

So what do you think? Does today’s ideal keep us fat? Do we need a Declaration of Independence? So we need to set the bar at “being the best me I can be” rather than trying to be something we can never be?


  1. Hi Susan--thanks for the great post! I have a secret love of clothes and have always been jealous of all the pretty things made in smaller sizes. I completely understand what you're talking about--I look at beautiful women I admire and wish to be like them, and in the past that might have motivated me to lose weight, then I'll get to a certain point where I give up. I've always wondered--is it because I'm scared of being skinny? Do I think that once I've lost all the weight I won't be pretty like I want to be? I don't know. But that's not a good enough excuse anymore. =) Very inspiring post, thank you!

  2. If a rule changes constantly is it still a rule? And if someone else can change the rule why can't you?

    In January for New Years I gave up caring what other people think. Some people start diets but you know what, it's all connected. Stressing about everyone else's opinions and rules only made me want to eat more.

    Every day take fifteen minutes to envision the best version of yourself that will make YOU and YOU ALONE happy. If that person wears sandals over hose and matches shoes to purses well then more power to her.

  3. Exactly, Gina!


  4. Sounds right to me. What i want is for my clothes to fit right. Size isn't as big as a issue. I can wear a small shirt everywhere but the waist. If i get a medium it fits there but to big in the shoulders. Need to lost that extra stuff that screwing up my fit. I don't want to be a size 4 ever. My husband and most men like women with curves and so i'll stick with mine.

    Lisa B